Tired and Happy
Death Cab For Cutie
I just had one of the best weekends of my life.
My UU church was hosting a Conference (Con), which is really just a bunch of people between the ages of 14 and 19 getting together and hanging out and making out and acting out and dancing round and sleeping in and staying up late and eating too much and clogging the toilets, but it was so exciting and so much fun and I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL APRIL COMES!!!
Friday, Caryn and I were supposed to bake ten batches of cookies, but Ross and Anthony didn't go shopping for us Wednesday like they were supposed to so we ended up going shopping, but we couldn't find egg replacer for the vegan cookies. When we got everything and were at the register paying for the stuff, it turned out to be over $50 worth of cooking supplies and Caryn only had $40 and I had $0, so we took about a third of it out and ended up paying only $40. Caryn started having a panic attack and so I helped calm her down and we went back to her house to get started on the baking, but it turned out that they had overcharged us by about $20 so Caryn left me to start the mixing of the ingredients while she went back to the store and corrected the error. In the meantime, I was trying to survive in a strange kitchen baking something which could not be screwed up by myself for the first time in my life AND her mixer was trying to kill me. When she got back she had forgotten to go out for the egg replacer, so she left again, and then when she got back we didn't have enough margarine so she had to go get THAT. By this time I had already started baking the cookies and everything. Caryn had called Lea from school to help with the baking because she's a really good cook, and Lea came and she and Caryn sat at the kitchen table and talked while I raced around trying to make sure nothing was getting burned. Once they had swapped life stories about five times each Caryn had to go take a shower to get ready for work so she left me baking and Lea just sitting there, being really helpful doing NOTHING. Bear in mind that we were supposed to make eight batches of regular cookies, two batches of vegan cookies, two huge cookies (one vegan and one regular), and regular and vegan frostings; not only that, but we had to have everything done by 4:00 and I didn't even get started until about 2. So Caryn got out of the shower and finished her makeup and hair and got dressed and took her time and then came back into the kitchen and talked more with Lea while they ate a few of the cookies that were done and watched me bustle around like a chicken on crack. And then when I didn't have time to make the frostings they were both disappointed with me, like I had just been sitting around and they had been doing all the work. So then I had cleaned up and it was time to go and Lea left and I wanted to collapse on Caryn's couch and stay there instead of go to church and the Con, but Caryn yanked me up and wanted me to help her put the cookies into bags. So I did, and then we went to church and she unlocked the doors and we went in and she told me to start stacking all the chairs in the Sanctuary and move them somewhere out of the way. And then she left to go to work. And I was there alone, stacking about 250 chairs and feeling like I wanted to just sink to the floor and sleep the weekend away. But instead, because I'm proud and strong, I stacked them one by one.
Sean got there at 5 and helped me move them, and he lightened the mood because he started poking me AGAIN (he does it every Sunday) and tickling me and laughing at me and chasing me around while I made EEK noises like a girl because I am one. And then the people started to filter in and the Con began.
Taylor and Ross got there next, and then Anthony and Elise, and we all hung out and put things into order while we waited for the others from Wyoming and Colorado and other parts of Utah to come in their buses. Taylor started ignoring me when the others arrived, so I was completely on my own since Sean is always surrounded by a crowd and Anthony and Ross ran off somewhere and Elise socialized and Caryn wasn't there. Then we got separated into our Touch Groups and we played all these weird games I hadn't ever even heard of before and I got hit on by a fifteen-year-old lesbian who followed me around pretty much for the rest of the Con. I also had the worst stomachache of my life and tried to avoid people by sitting alone because it hurt so bad I couldn't really smile and so whenever someone grinned at me I grimaced back.
But then I took out my sketchbook and suddenly I was talking to people and meeting people and coming out of my lonely pod, and I started drawing people and then other people were impressed and asked me to draw more, and so on. And then before I knew it the toilets had been clogged and it was time for bed. Since I'm an insomniac and so is Taylor, we slept together (NOT like THAT you SICKOES!) in the Mixed Gender room and talked until 5:00 in the morning. I slept for what felt like forever and woke up at 7:30 am feeling completely energized and pumped and not the least bit tired. Which was good, because that was the longest day ever.
Taylor left the Con for good. There was a disaster business meeting and it was the last of a long chain of unpleasantries that had him fed up, so he resigned his position for the Youth Council and took himself out of YRUU and won't ever be coming to another Con or Sunday YRUU meeting again, and maybe never to church again. When I found out I was so sad because we had really connected with each other the night before to the point where we knew exactly where the other person was in their mind and it was so awesome. So I started crying but there were a lot of people around and so I ran out of the Sanctuary and was going to hide in the Annex shower room, but on my way there Sean stopped me on the stairs in the hall and asked what was wrong, and I told him and he stepped forward and hugged me and we just stood there hugging for about ten minutes and I was crying and he was telling me he knew, and there was nothing else that we could say. Then we sat down on the steps and he had his arms around me and we just sat there and said "Fuck" and felt shitty for a while, having a whole conversation with one word. Then we started talking about other things that sucked and we just sat there holding hands and needing each other until the dinner claps sounded and we had to go get food. After that, every time we were near each other we made a point of touching each other, like we were using some sort of invisible feeling radar to tell whether the other person was OK. And for the rest of the Con we were there exactly when the other needed someone. The thing you have to understand about Sean is that he is a very caring and protective guy who sprays blue into his hair and makes me laugh, so he's always doing things like coming up behind me and hugging me or standing there leaning on me or whatever. I told him later that if he hadn't been there on those steps right then I would have been miserable for the rest of the Con. I think he really understood me while we were sitting there being miserable and lonely together. I really like Sean.
Dale, this friend of Caryn's and now friend of mine from Colorado, helped me lead the Improv workshop, which turned out fabulously and everyone loved it and Mrs. Donaldson would have been proud to her hairtips if she'd been there. Then Caryn and I did the Ballroom workshop, teaching the waltz and the jitterbug and it was SOOOOOOOO MUCH FUUUUUNNN! For the rest of the time I was there people told me how good I was and asked me to teach them. So I spent a great deal of time doing that.
Anthony was getting Morgan (from Ogden) to do his mohawk, so I watched and memorized what he looked like and then started drawing a profile of him with his hawk and it looks so much like him and he was really impressed.
I gave Anthony a back massage that he absolutely loved, and then gave Caryn one and Sean one. They all thought I was fabulous and want me to give them another one next week. Which I will gladly oblige to. I went to bed at 3:30 and got up at 6:30.
Today we woke up and cleaned up before service started and we saw the buses off and I got so many hugs and it was great. I didn't think I would know hardly anyone by the end of the Con because I thought the people would be so much different from me and that they wouldn't like me, but I felt so much at home with them. It was incredible. And then they left.
And in my mailbag there was a note. It was scrawled quickly on yellow paper and folded over once, and it said, "*drool* You make me cry a little." I don't know who it was (I think Anthony or Oliver) but it was really nice, and it made me feel good even though a lot of the girls I knew there and most of the guys had been making out and being couple-y except for me. Anthony also told me that Oliver has a crush on me, which is cute. He's a very odd one.
So that was my weekend. I'm so tired and I've been cussing all day and I'm hungry but I had such a good time and I can't wait until the next one in April.